Mother's Day

it wasn't a very happy day.
we had outdoor service at a local park.
as soon as we stepped out of the car, the kids stopped listening to me.
Z boy and i antagonized each other. don't know what happened to Z girl.
she kept giving me sour looks.
they were supposed to perform songs for the children's choir.
Z girl did it but with reluctance written all over her face.
Z boy refused to go up despite my coaxing and threatening talks.
i was so angry i saw white flashing lights.
so i took the kids home before service even started and left B to fend for himself.
the kids took showers after we got home and were told to say in bed the rest of the morning. all of Z boy's birthday present went into timeout for a week.
i calmed down by cleaning up the house.

all last week, i went over and over again in my head what happened that day.
why did my children act like that?
what could i have done to avert these kind of meltdown from Z boy?
did i make a mountain out of a mole hill?
what can i do to control my temper and be more gentle and patient with them?
needless to say, i have no answers for these questions as of yet.